Monday, August 27, 2012

Theory of Relationship

This is not some physics related blog post,so don't skip it on seeing the title itself.It's all about relationship. Lot of relationships exists in this world. Friendship, parenthood,love,siblings etc.

Nowadays the word 'relationship' is used only in association with love and lust.Even friendship is a form of relationship.Whatever it be, the relationship gets interesting, if its between a boy and girl.Once a girl enters,everything becomes interesting.But if the same girl leaves you,it hurts.This is what relationship is all about.

There are numerous ways of getting into relationship.The most common factor which leads to a relationship - attraction.On seeing a beautiful girl,most of the guys wants to make friendship with that girl.Girls too like handsome guys.Some shameless guys are there,they will stoop down to any extent to make friendship with that girl.The worst part is,if there happens to be a mutual friend between this girl and the boy,then he will start torturing that mutual friend to give an intro to that girl(edhukku da indha maanam ketta polappu).When you question this,the guy will talk as if he is a gentleman and will say, "see I just want to make friendship with that girl,why are you taking it in wrong sense?".But most of these gentlemen wants to make that 'genuine' friendship with only with fair girls(whittu skinnu girlu girlu :P).

As days move on,some friendship turns into love.One can't find fault with this.It just happens.One cannot find reason for that.But there is also another occasion,where people 'fall' in love.Loneliness is what I am pointing out to.When a girl feels low on confidence and there is none to support her, and all of a sudden if a guy stands for her,its quite natural that the girl will develop some kind of special feeling for that guy.And this can very well happen to a guy too.But the possibility of a girl 'falling' in love is more than a guy in such situations. But once they overcome this difficult situation,either the guy or the girl moves on.

Due to loneliness,the guy develops a sympathy towards the girl.The girl too starts considering the guy someone more than a friend.Trouble starts when these two fall in love.Most of the cases end-up either in break up or divorce.The reason for this is - situation forced them to get into a relationship and once the situation changes,their relationship breaks up.Still some of such relations lasts for a long time,because even though situation forces them,they take that extra step to understand each other.

After being in a relationship for a long time or after showing a great amount of affection towards someone, girls simply throw away some guys.I don't know,how girls are able to do this.Suddenly they realize about their family background,they realize about status,they understand the difference between love,infatuation, sympathy etc.

There is a problem with our guys.Its a serious problem.If a girl starts moving well with them,they forget the basic fact that friendship can exist between a girl and boy.Just because a girl talks so much with a guy,it need not necessarily be love.In developed towns and cities,this is how a girl child is brought up - the girl will talk so many things with her parents.They will almost share everything that happens in their school, college, work place etc.They will  tell the names of guys with whom they move daily.They will tell the pranks played in the college, they will tell the difficulties faced in the work space etc.They are the 'chellakuttys' in home.Meaning - the parents give so much of freedom to the girls.Naturally the girl moves with other guys too in the same way. If you are going to consider her jovial talks and casual behavior as a positive signal for love,I am damn sure you will end up with egg on your face.There are exceptional sadist parents too.But they are less in number,considering the fact that only educated girls are taken as an example here.

Another problem with guys is, most of them doesn't have the much needed self-control.Whenever a guy falls in love with a girl,he will be in a hurry to propose her.And as we see in movies,we have good friends who will encourage you with golden words like 'if you miss this chance,you will never get such a good girl'.Our hero will believe his friends like anything.Now, for him,his friends are like Gods(Gods must be crazy :P).So he will take this advice serious and will propose his love without knowing what the girl really thinks about him.

I admit its too difficult to understand what a girl thinks.Yes understanding a girl is highly impossible.There is nothing as difficult as understanding a  girl.You can even understand the method and solve a mathematical equation,but you can never understand a girl.But if a girl really loves you,you can feel it for sure(kannukulla manam thudikkum kandupidikkanam appappaa :P).And once you are able to feel that,don't delay it even for a second.Express your love.Don't keep a messenger,don't propose in sms,chat etc.Meet her in person, express your love.If meeting is really difficult and you want to propose immediately,make a phone call(but still proposing a girl face-to-face is the right way and it really has a thrill in it too :P).

There is another issue too.Every girl has this quality.She may be an innocent girl or intelligent girl,doesn't really matter.She can easily realize the intentions of a guy moving with her.She can find out who is in love with her,who is expecting a 'physical relationship' ,who is moving with a brotherly or friendly affection etc. Even after knowing this some girls take advantage of this and use the guy as per their needs and just throws him away.When you come to know that a guy is madly in love with you and you don't have any intentions on him, better avoid the guy in the beginning itself.That will save the life of you as well as the guy who is in love with you.

But there are occasions that will confuse a girl to a great extent.This is the most common problem it seems. Sometimes a girl cannot understand what the guy is upto.In this case,even the concerned guy may not be knowing what he is upto.He may be having some 'special affection' towards a girl.We can call this a soft-corner.Both the guy and the girl knew this relationship is something more than friendship.But still they may not be sure.In this case,the girl can seek the help of some mutual friend.Make it sure that he/she is trustworthy friend.You can ask what the guy is upto, through this friend.If you don't have a mutual friend, you can directly ask this to the guy.And, it is at this point, you two should decide whether to get into a 'relationship' or not.If you choose to get into a relationship,its well and good.

But, if you choose 'not',then it is better to put a full-stop to everything.Stop casual talks, unwanted messages,unnecessary calls etc.Make it sure that,there is no communication between you two, unless and until there is a necessity.It's too difficult to throw away, someone whom you like very much,just like that. But if you fail to do so after this meeting,life will become miserable to either of you or to both of you.

Once you get into a relationship,see that it lasts forever. Don't break up for silly reasons.Nobody is perfect in this world.Everyone makes mistakes.Ask this question to yourself - 'the mistake or the relationship - which is more important?'. You will get only relationship as the answer.Most of the relationships break up due to misunderstanding. Misunderstanding is not unavoidable. When you are constantly in touch with your friend or (boy/girl friend),this misunderstanding can be easily avoided. This very well applies to friendship too. Don't miss an opportunity to talk with your loved-ones(friends too).

Don't say you are always busy and you couldn't find time for your friends and loved ones,you have to find time.Spending a five minutes for people close to you is not a big deal at all.That will not spoil your productivity. Ofcourse job is important. Every profession has its own challenges. You may be an IT professional, may be a policeman,a cricket player, a driver,a doctor,a mechanic,a teacher etc. Each of these jobs has its own difficulties.But still talking to someone who is close to you, someone who likes/loves you very much or someone whom you like very much will give you the much needed relief from all your tensions.But if something goes wrong in your work,after spending few minutes for your friend,don't blame her/him.That's not the way.Think honestly, we will waste atleast 1 hr daily during our working hours. No am not talking about lunch break,apart from lunch breaks,we all will waste atleast 1 hr. In that 1 hr we can spend few minutes for people who are close to us.

To put it simply,if you value people,you will find time for them.

Try to call your friends and loved ones on their birthdays.If possible go in person and wish them.Not many will expect others to wish them.But they will value the time taken by you for them.Birthday is the only day in a year,during which most of your friends and loved ones will call you.The invention of facebook has spoiled this small happiness too.Don't stop with a facebook wish.Sometimes your phone call might make your friend very happy.

Send a good forward message whenever possible.That will help you to be in touch with your friends always.If there is a fight and if you value the person more than the mistake,try to convince him/her.Though there is no mistake on your part,try to convince.At the same time,don't give up your self-respect.

In any relationship,be it friendship or love or between a husband and wife,mutual respect is more important than anything else.Respect doesn't mean using words like sir,boss,madam etc.Respect one's feeling.Just because he has done something wrong don't try to punish him for a life time.As I said above,nobody is perfect in this world.But one thing,whatever be the relationship,if care,affection,love,respect is one sided and the other person, without even considering this,hurts you and ignores you deliberately,without any hesitation,throw them away. Throw them away from your heart.Don't say movie dialogues and roam around like Idhayam Murali.

And that's it.I would like to conclude this post with an advice.

"Don't try to get into any relationship just for the sake of it,it should happen naturally"

I might not have covered everything about relationship,but I believe whatever I have covered, is right.

These are all just theories.Cross check these theories with by implementing it in 'practical experiments'.If anything written here resembles with anyone's personal life,its purely co-incidental.Will come up with more theories in future.

Tuesday, August 14, 2012

Enjoying the Freedom ~ Independence Day special

65 years over.India is all set to celebrate its 66th Independence day tomorrow.As usual the Prime Minister and Chief Ministers will hoist the national flags.Some TV channels 'may' telecast some patriotic songs and scenes from movies for an hour.And most of us will be showing our patriotism in facebook,twitter,orkut etc. And even in blogs.There is nothing wrong in this.But the problem is after sharing few updates about Gandhiji and Bhagat Singh,we completely forget everything and get back to our routine,the next day.The point is,we are not ready to follow what we share in cyberspace.

No I am not going to write anything against politicians in this post.Politics is like a drug.There are 2 ways of utilizing it.One - consuming appropriate drugs to cure your disease,two - consuming drugs to get some 'inexplicable' pleasure.In the second case,the one who consumes such drugs becomes an addict and he will do anything for that drug.He will not hesitate to even to kill someone.Similarly,when a person uses politics properly in a constructive way,he is respected as a leader and he can bring some positive change in the society.And when someone uses politics too much for his personal benefits,he end up as an 'addict' and to continue enjoying this pleasure he will do anything.He will kill innocent civilians,he will even be ready to give up the nation itself to some other country.Type 2 politicians are more in number, so let us not discuss much about such morons in this post.

Let us discuss about ourselves.In the name of freedom,we do lot of things.We call, sharing our opinions on social network, as 'freedom of expression'.How we use this freedom?In facebook,I have come across so many pictures with the captions like "modern girls,height of freedom".The picture will have some girls drinking,some girls found in some compromising position with some guys.Before sharing such pictures ask these questions to yourselves guys.Do you really think Indian culutre gets spoiled 'only when a girl drinks'? If you justify drinking by men,I don't find anything wrong in women drinking.That is a different topic.Do you really think they are all real pictures?Some pictures may be real,but there are lot of morphed pictures.And the last question - what if they drink?whats your problem guys?why should we share these pictures? Will that not affect the future of those girls?Are we all 100% perfect?

If you think I am exaggerating the facebook picture sharing activity,you are wrong.Everything starts from here.I have come across some facebook pages which shares the pictures of lot of women.They give vulgar comments.Most of these pictures seems to be copied illegally.And the worst part is more than 15000 people liked that page.Before liking such pages,before sharing such pictures,dont forget there are women in your home too.During school days we used to take pledge that 'All Indians are my brothers and sisters'.We use this sentence to make fun of Sania Mirza and girls.Intelligent guys and girls ask 'if all Indians are my brothers and sisters,whom should I marry'.Instead of asking such worthless questions,remember this pledge and report abuse the facebook page or orkut community.

Just see the pic above.Its written clearly.Hang the PARASITE.A girl was molested by a group of guys in Assam.What really shocked me was,some intellectuals blame the girl for this.They claim,the girl went to pub at mid-night and that was the reason for this incident.I am against pub,discotheques culture.I don't support drinking(applies to men as well).But just because a girl is drunk and roaming on the streets in the night time doesnt mean she should be molested.Only inhuman b******s will involve in this act.Blaming the dressing of a women for such incidents shows how insane the society is.This Assam incident is just an example.There are lot of such incidents happening in India and the police remain mute spectator for all these atrocities.

Honesty has become a rare quality among us nowadays.We all accuse the politicians for being corrupt.How many officials and bureaucrats dared to question those corrupt politicians?Every field is spoiled.If you think being honest in government service is impossible,I would say you are unfit to the job.Yes it is risky.No job is safe.The magnitude of risk may vary from profession to profession.We expect the police to take action against the corrupt.It is said that sometimes the policemen get their job itself by paying bribe.A policeman can be honest,a collector can be honest,a doctor, engineer, autodriver, school teachers/correspondents everyone can be honest.Even politicians can be honest.But only,if you are willing to be.

A 8 year old kid died in Chennai due to carelessness of school management.There was a huge hole in that school bus.How did they get approval to run that bus?The correspondent says he cannot take responsibility for this.The correspondent will only take money but not the responsibility.Now this incident has created a panic among the parents.This should be taken up as a wake-up call.We should check the infrastructure of school/college/workplace etc and if we find anything wrong,we should not hesitate to sue the concerned authorities.

Instead of showing immense patriotism during cricket matches,we should try to do something constructive.On every independence day,we should explain the significance of independence to kids.We should educate moral values to kids.If injustice is meted out to an individual and if we can really help them to get justice,we should not hesitate in doing so.

I seriously feel we should come forward to work in public sector.Only when we work in public sector we can bring atleast a small percentage of change we wish to see.We should take Mr.T N Seshan(former Election Commissioner),Mr.Sagayam(IAS officer),Mr.Nataraj(former DGP),Mr.Asra Garg(SP), Mr.K M Vijayan(lawyer) etc., as an example.

Instead of expecting some god-sent messenger to cleanse the system,we ourselves can do that.To form a proper political party and to get the public support is no mean task.It may take time.But if we have the will to do,we can succeed in that too.Yes joining politics with a proper plan will be the right way to change the entire system in India.

Again not everyone can shine in politics.But we can atleast support right people.Or we should atleast punish the worst parties.To do this,we should know politics.We should keep track of current affairs.We should know what is happening around.I have observed an attitude among most of the corporate employees.'I don't like politics','I don't know politics','I can't understand politics','Politics is cheap and dirty',these kind of statements are quite common among corporate employees,especially ladies.What if you learn politics?What are you going to lose?One need not join politics,but should know politics and current affairs.Everyone should know Mukul Roy is our railway minister and he traveled in luxury coach and took 1 and half hours rest and then only visited  the Tamil Nadu Express accident site at Nellore.Only if you know such information,you can identify who is good and who is bad.Even after knowing this,no sane person will support Trinamool Congress.

Right now,most of the people are enjoying their freedom in wrong way.In the name of enjoying our freedom, troubling others should be stopped.Everyone should act with social consciousness.Until then there is no point in celebrating our freedom.

P.S.: Our 'secular' politicians and 'minority saviors' have politicised our patriotic song 'Vande Mataram' and 'Bharath Mata' too,stating that Bharath Mata is a hindu goddess.One may follow any religion.One may be an atheist.Doesn't matter.Consider this nation as a temple and consider the rich culture in this country as God.And the Bharath Mata is nothing but the reflection of our Indian culture.One may wonder why the culture is worshiped in the form of a woman(Bharath Mata).The reason is - to respect women.This is my interpretation about Bharath and Bharath Mata.Its upto the individuals to buy this theory.

Happy Independence day!!!!

Sunday, August 12, 2012

India at Olympics 2012

The London Olympics has come to an end finally.With 6 medals,statistically this is the best Olympics for India.Here sports means cricket - only cricket.We don't even have a standard football team.Still India was able to bag 6 medals in Olympics,which is something great.Before getting into the article,as an Indian fan,I wholeheartedly congratulate the medal winners - Gagan Narang(Bronze,event 10m air rifle),Vijay Kumar(Silver,25m rapidfire pistol),Saina Nehwal(Bronze,badminton), Mary Kom(Bronze,boxing(51kg)), Yogeshwar Dutt(Bronze,60kg freestyle wrestling) and Sushil Kumar(Silver,66kg freestyle wrestling).

India is a nation with a population of more than 100 crore.But we feel satisfied with just 6 medals. We couldn't win a single gold medal.Atleast nowadays Indians are winning more medals in individual events.To that extent we should feel happy.Who is responsible for this situation?It would be utter non-sense to blame Saina Nehwal or Mary Kom for not winning a gold medal.To be honest these people has brought a great respect to their events.

I would like to recollect one incident about this Olympics.Semi-finals match between Saina Nehwal and China's Wang Yihan was going on.As I was free,I entered the cafetaria to watch this match.I was stunned to see a huge crowd and the best part is the crowd was cheering Saina for every point gained by her.I have never seen such a huge crowd for anyother event other than cricket.Last time I saw such an enthusiastic crowd was during Sachin's 100th century against Bangladesh.I was really happy to see people enjoying a badminton match.Unfortunately Saina Nehwal lost to her Chinese rival.But still she was the only non-Chinese player to qualify for semi-finals.And though she lost,she gave a tough fight to her opponent.Had she not lost her patience,she would have won the semi-finals(this is my opinion).Hats-off Saina,hope you win a gold next time.

The above incident clearly shows,nowadays people support every event,including cricket.The sports ministry and the respective authorities should realize this and should recognize the talents.Saina Nehwal won bronze, that's a different story.It was another lady's medal which is even more inspiring.MC Mary Kom,who is a mother of 2 kids,is a 5 time world champion in Boxing and she is the only woman boxer to have won a medal in each one of the six world championships.In home she is a sweet mother and inside the boxing ring, she is a real fighter.She is from Manipur.She has started a boxing academy using her own money.This shows her passion for the sport.The govt should come forward and fund her.Fund the likes of Mary Kom.We have some culture-less cricketers, who openly accuse their captain out of jealousy, getting crores of money for being a part of world cup winning team.If such non-performers can get so much of money, why not a five time world champion like Mary Kom?

If a cricketers scores 5 centuries in international matches,he gets lot of sponsors,lot of prize money from governments,BCCI etc.Are we treating the non-cricketers the same way?In what way non-cricketing sportsmen are inferior?Just look at Yogeshwar Dutt's pic below.Doesn't the swelling on his eye say how much respect he deserves?India is improving gradually in shooting.In 2004, Rajyavardhan Singh Rathore won silver medal.In 2008,Abhinav Bindra created history by winning first gold medal in individual events.And now,in 2012,we have 2 medals in shooting - Gagan Narang and Vijay Kumar.India's national coach for shooting,Sunny Thomas said he will quit his job,as he has served enough to the event.True - he has been serving as a coach for the past 17 years.But why we could not win more gold medals?

To win more gold medals,our players need a proper atmosphere to practice.The respective authorities should take care of this.Politicians should be kept out of administration matters.The job of a politician must be restricted to allocating enough funds and providing the necessary support to the authorities.

Indian hockey team is a 8 time champion in Olympics.We have won 8 gold medals.But during the last Olympics,we even failed to qualify.This time,India ended up with zero wins.It was expected.Earlier we had Indian Hockey Federation and now we have Hockey India as governing bodies.I don't know how many people have proper knowledge about hockey in these governing bodies.Someone like Dhanraj Pillai or Bhaskaran should lead these governing bodies.We should have a proper energetic coach.And the sports ministry should provide the necessary support to these governing bodies.This is how it should work.

As long as the governing bodies are not proper,India can never grow up in any sporting event.The recent quarrel among Indian tennis players showed the ugly face of the so called 'tennis stars'.Mahesh Bhupathi openly refusing to play with Leander Paes,Leander Paes commenting about his partner Vishnu Vardhan(this was his comment : 'I don't even know if he has grass-court shoes. So it's a bit of a tough one.'),Sania Mirza's unwanted statements about male chauvinism etc., shows the lack of proper governing body for tennis. For making such stupid comments,the Indian Olympic Association could have very well stopped this players from playing in the Olympics.Anyway they didn't win any medals.They can never win medals with this attitude.

In any sports,you may win or you may not,that's common.But the attitude you show matters more than the outcome.Though Saina Nehwal lost against Wang Yihan,she showed a good attitude on field.I expected Vijendar to win a medal this time too.Though he lost in the quarter-finals,he played well.There was another guy called Devendro Singh,who also made his presence felt.Let us hope these guys win a medal in next Olympics.

Players with proper potential and attitude,to win medals,must be selected.The authorities should start grooming players. Keep the dirty politics away from sports,encourage real talents,respect non-cricketers too,provide all type of support to these players - count the no. of gold medals.We can win atleast 25 medals. 

I conclude this post with a salute to our medal winners.And special wishes to Sushil Kumar for creating history by winning 2 individual medals in Olympics.He is the first Indian to do so.I was also happy to see the media giving more importance to Olympics over India-Srilanka ODI series.I was really happy to see Sushil Kumar in almost all news channels. Let us hope we win more medals in 2016 Olympics.

Wednesday, August 1, 2012

Assam riots - Is it fair?

For the past few days large scale riots are going on in Assam.I don't know how many of you are aware of it. You might have come across in TV channels that some riots are going on in Assam.But not many of you might have considered it serious.You might have thought "oh shit!!just another law and order problem" and you would have forgotten the news at all.But the reality is different.Around 2 lakh people displaced and the death toll is around 41.This is a serious issue and the situation is still tense in Assam.But why the media is not going hard on Tarun Gogoi?

We have our secularists,rationalists,human rights activists etc.Why all are silent now?The media is reporting this incident as if a small group clash.The reason for this silence by our activists media is because of the fact that the immigrant Bangladesh Muslims are behind this violence?We have social activist Mr.Anna Hazare fasting against corruption.He is known for making some funny statements.According to him the BJP is communal.But why he or his team is quiet on the Assam violence?

Last week I was watching the interview of Congress general secretary Digvijaya Singh.As we all know, he is a brainy guy.When Rajdeep Sardesai was drawing parallels between the current Assam riots and the 2002 Gujarat riots,he immediately responded that comparing both the riots is wrong.And he says the Gujarat riots were state sponsored riots.Mr.Digivijaya Singh must understand that he is not above Supreme court.The Supreme court appointed Special Investigation Team(SIT),headed by Mr. R K Raghavan.The SIT gave clean chit to the Gujarat chief minister Narendra Modi on Ehsan Jafri murder case.How can he call it a state sponsored riot?

Digvijaya Singh said the Bodos and Muslims have a long history of conflicts and he also says Gujarat and Assam cannot be compared.Brainy Digvijaya Singh,please check the history of Gujarat before commenting something like this.And he also says Assam is not an easy state to govern and it got Ethnic diversity.Even Gujarat has a history of riots before 2002.But the point to be noted is,after the 2002 riots,Modi has given a riot free govt till now.Will Tarun Gogoi give an assurance that this type of riot will not take place again? He will not.Even if he gives an assurance,he cannot give a riot free govt.Because the problem between Bodos and immigrant Muslims is there for a long time.Being a 3 time chief minister,Mr.Gogoi's govt failed to tackle this problem.Unless and until the govt takes steps to stop the entry of immigrant Bangladesh Muslims,these type of  riots will be happening often.

Digvijaya Singh says army cannot be brought in for every incident.This is the statement of the congress general secretary.Now let us see what the Assam chief minister said : 

"We had requisitioned the Army on the very first day. But it took four-five days for the forces to reach the state.He said he had informed the home ministry and the Army the very first day violence broke out between the Bodos and Bengali speaking Muslims. "But it takes time as the forces come from various states" - source. 

My point is why the activists and media has turned a blind eye towards the Assam riots? Is it really fair? During the 2002 riots,the focus of every media was only on Gujarat.But now the same media is not giving the same amount of importance to Assam riots.

Instead of focusing on riots that is still happening,the media was more interested in hyping an interview of Modi to Urdu magazine.The television channels were busily telecasting the news with the heading that "First time Narendra Modi speaks about Gujarat riots". The media has to wake up and realize that this is not 2002 and this is 2012.In these 10 years Narendra Modi has given a good government and there were no riots post 2002. But there are riots going on in a congress ruled state(Assam) and the state govt failed miserably to control the riots.The Prime Minister,who is an MP from Assam,has not done anything to calm down the situation. The congress party should also admit the fact that,our 'ex' home minister P Chidambaram too was a failure as a home minister.He failed to tackle so many internal issues like Assam violence,Telangana problem,Maoist problems etc.

This govt has made Sushil Kumar Shinde as Home Minister.People of India should understand that this govt is mocking the people by making Mr.Shinde as home minister and Chidambaram as finance minister.I will write an exclusive blog post about Chidambaram later.Sushil Kumar Shinde served as Power minister till yesterday. And the power outage in North India clearly shows he was not a 'powerful' minister.But the congress party has given such a powerful ministry to Mr.Shinde.What else should we call this other than mockery?We might have seen inefficient governments,corrupt governments,dictatorial rule etc.But as far as I know,if there is a democratically elected government,which purposefully makes a mockery of its own citizens,it can be only our central government.

The electronic media,print media and television channels should highlight these facts.Making false allegations against Narendra Modi will not make anyone secular.

Let us hope atleast now the Assam govt wakes up and takes proper steps to stop illegal Muslim immigration.

P.S. : Shahid Siddiqui,a former Rajya Sabha Samajwadi Party MP was the one who interviewed Modi for that Urdu magazine.Modi said :

 "If a government is responsible for what happened, it should be hanged in a street square. They should be hanged as a deterrent, so no administrator dares do this again. If Modi has sinned, then Modi should be hanged...I think I managed to stop the rioting. I will not admit that I couldn’t".

After this interview,Shahid Siddiqui was expelled from the Samajwadi Party,so that according to our secularists,activists and media, Samajwadi party will appear secular.