It has been quite a long time since I have updated this space with something related to love.This is February month,a season of love.Apart from this one of my best friends too requested me to post my views under this topic.So let me proceed with the topic.
Love vs Lust- actually this can be grouped under one of the most difficult debates.To be honest,there is always an attraction towards the other sex.This is quite natural.But this can't be termed as lust.'Attraction' as I said,is the right word.Love or lust is nothing but the result of the extent to which this attraction goes.We don't need a Shakespeare to explain this.We can feel this ourselves in the day to day life.Just consider the scenario.A beautiful girl crosses a guy.Definitely he will have a look at her and she too will realize this.The most common thing that might happen with both of them is,they both will have a smile and will move on(if they r mentally matured).This is just attraction.
But the problem starts when the guy starts to chase the girl or vice-versa.That is lust.I have seen lot of debates where one group of people will argue that love is all about heart and character.It's not about beauty.We can agree this statement only to some extent.There is one simple logic which none can deny.There is a lust in every love.As Vairamuthu said,
"உள்ளம் மட்டுமே காதல் என்றால்
நீ காதலிக்க ஒரு நாய் குட்டி போதும்
உடல் மட்டுமே காதலென்றால்
நீ காதலிக்க ஒரு விலைமாது போதும்
உடலும் உள்ளமும் இணைகின்ற புள்ளி தான் காதல்."
Which means,if love is related to heart alone,then a puppy is enough for you to love and if love is all about physical attraction,then a prostitute is enough for your love.Love is the point where both the heart and the physical attraction join together.I think these lines explains the entire topic.
But the thing is if its true love,lust will be in control.Love-making alone will not be the motive of true lovers.If a boy or girl doesn't have any physical attraction towards the other sex means it can be only in friendship.If a guy considers a girl as his real friend,he will view her only as FRIEND till the end(the vice-versa holds true too).The biggest problem with most of the people is,they are not able to distinguish between "I like you" and "I love you".
There is another serious issue.Its nothing new.The word love is misused.They move just too close.They call it love.After a physical relationship either the boy or the girl just parts away.In most of the cases it will be guys who will involve in this nonsense.But nowadays there is vast improvement in this nation.Its not 33% its around 50%,even girls/women started doing this.Before some years,the Madras High Court gave a verdict that a boy/man cannot be held responsible for having relationship with a girl in the name of love.It is with the consent of the girl,this happens,so its unfair to hold the guys alone responsible for this.But some other court(I think supreme court) later refused to accept this and said sex in the name of love is punishable.
Actually speaking,the motive every couple, who are in love,will be to have a long-happy-married life.In that case why can't you control your physical intentions upto marriage?Are you not sure of marrying your partner? There is another point too.If the couple feels that its not possible for them to marry,then also it doesn't mean that one should have sex.Some of the so called intellectuals may give an answer that,though they are not able to join together in life,why should we not let them have atleast this small pleasure?Doesn't this question appear stupid?Going by this statement,love is all about sex.But in reality love is something different.
Imagine.If a girl and boy,who project themselves as true lovers,who goes to every place together,after having physical relationship,due to situations and circumstances,are unable to marry.They marry different people in their life.But after that,will they have the guts to face their own friends and relatives?What the society will think about them? Will this not send a message that these 2 were in want of sex and they made use of the word "love".If anyone asks this to the girl or boy,will it not be a shame to them?
Love is the feeling which blossoms in the mind.A true love will have lot of affection,care and little lust.True love will never hurt good people around(parents,friends etc.,).True love will respect the feelings and sentiments.Even if there is a break up,true lovers will not do anything which will haunt them in future.
He will feel like waling in heaven while having a cool walk on a breezy evening with her,she will feel very secured,safe and comfortable while lying on his shoulders,they will a sweet pain when there is a small fight between them,a warm hug after a small fight will make them realize the value of each other,a romantic ride on a lonely road etc.,etc.,My goodness,true love is lot more than sex.
So my point is,if lust dominates the relationship,then it can't be love.If care and affection plays a major role with little lust,then its love.It is better not to use the word love or friendship for satisfying one's physical intentions.