It's not her mistake..

Hello friends,after a brief hiatus,am writing a love story in this space.This is not exactly an imagination.At the same time,I didn't draw inspiration from any particular individual's life.If there happens to be any resemblance to the personal life of any individual,who is reading this blog,it's purely coincidental,later on don't fight with me.

Let me get into the story now.

Vinod is an IAS aspirant.His ambition is to become an IAS officer.He had a decent knowledge in computers too.After completing his B.Sc in computer science,luckily,he got a job in a MNC located in Chennai.Though he got a job in an MNC,for quite a good salary,his goal never changed and he always wanted to become an IAS.From now on,Vinod will narrate.

Vinod : "I have heard lot of stories about corporate life culture,most of which were about beautiful girls.I am not interested in all these stuff.I always wanted to keep this job as a stop gap arrangement.After a hectic training,I was tagged to a project.

Just 1 week over in this project..After coming straight away from training,I felt bit different..Lot of seniors around me..All my training friends were in different projects...I will go alone to breaks and lunch..

As usual,it was just another monday morning to me..I was little late due to traffic..I was in time while going in office bus..But I didn't want to keep my new bike idle..When I entered into office I was in for a huge shock.. A beautiful,little innocent,fair girl was working in my system..I didn't really know how to react.. I went near her..I asked her:

"Excuse me,this is my system..And you...?"

She introduced herself and then..

"Hi I am Gayathri..I am from Hydrabad..I got posted to Chennai..Time being was just using your system.. Sorry,you can use it now.."

Vinod : "Hey its ok..you can use that system..I am also here for the past 1 week only and I haven't seen anyone using that system..So you can use it.."

Gayathri : "Oh ok..then you are also a trainee like me huh?I thought you are a senior here.."

Vinod : "Do you know Tamil?"

Gayathri : "Not much,but can understand well...and I can also talk few words,but might sound funny"

Vinod : "Hey that's really great..Soon u will learn lot of Tamil words.."

Gayathri : "Oh ho..hey I don't know anyone in Chennai yaar..Can you just help me in finding a house here.. There are 3 more of my Hydrabad friends with me..Also please tell me which bus to take from here to Nungambakkam..I am staying in company guest house there only.."

Vinod : " hey for that you can use train..it will be very convenient..."

I started talking to her,as if I know her for years..I have seen so many girls in my college and even in my training..But I had an opinion about almost every girl I came across in my life..If a girl comes forward to help me,the immediate thought that I would get is,"why is she making a scene here",if someone talks against me,I have never hesitated to insult the girl immediately in public..But I didn't want to do any of these things to Gayathri...I think,my loneliness and her innocent look,created some sympathy for her in my mind..

Days went on happily..She found a room near Nanganallur..Gayathri became Gayu to me..I taught some Tamil words to her..Tamil,naturally itself, is a sweet language,but whenever Gayu said anything in Tamil,I felt like the language became just too beautiful..

It was exactly October 8th,her birthday..Our PL was just too strict..She asked permission to go soon..She pleaded a lot.. My PL is a ruthless idiot..At times I used to wonder,why no girl is marrying him,but I understood the reason on that occasion only..For asking a permission,he was shouting like anything..

After completing our work,finally at around 8 o clock,we were about to leave..The PL fellow already left..  With lots of disappointment she started crying,lying on my shoulders..Though I never wanted to see her crying,I was bit happy too,bcoz I could feel a kind of trust,when she was lying on my shoulders..I wiped off hear tears and took her to cafetaria..

She was really shocked and surprised to see her Hydrabad friends there..I also ordered a cake..She was jumping out of joy..Their friends informed her that,I only made them come here,without her knowledge,I got their mail ids and made them come here..She really felt happy and she gave me a warm hug,before leaving.. Now it was my turn to fly in a joyful feeling ;-)..

I realized that I am in love with her..I just wanted to discuss this with her one day..I was neither scared nor hesitant to express my love..I knew she will accept..I was waiting for a right opportunity.. 

One day..

Gayu : "Hey Vinod..I am leaving to my native today..Its already late..Now I can't go in MTC bus and take share auto and all..I will miss my train..Can u pls pick me in your bike,so that I will take my luggage from room and reach station soon?"

Vinod : "Hey why r u using pls and all..Come we will go.."

I have abused so many guys for taking girls in their bike..Of-course most of them deserved those abuses,but not everyone..When Gayu asked me like this,I didn't even think of these things..When she sat behind me,I started driving at 100km/h..Generally I will not go beyond 50..She kept on talking without giving a break..I just love that...I knew she was going on a long leave,because I was the one who helped her to raise the leave request,since it was her first leave after coming over here..

Gayu : "Vino,I will be going to Thirupathi today..After having Darshan,I will be going to Hydrabad...Will be coming back only on next monday..Do you want anything?I will bring laddoo for you :D"

After reaching the station,we had a coffee in a near by coffee shop..Fortunately or unfortunately,the train was late by an hour..I got the much needed privacy...

Vinod : "Gayu..I want to say something important to you.. I believe you know this too.."

Gayu(quite normally) : "whats that?whats that so important?is PL angry on me for going on a leave?or did i do anything wrong ?"

Vinod : "Come on Gayu..u r jus testing my patience..See my eyes..can't u jus feel it..I love you dear...I love you..u have completely occupied me..am nothing without u..I know u r also in love with me..u love me right?"

Gayu:"Hey Vino,I don't know how to react for this..I don't know what made u think this way..am confused..give me some time..I just want to think on this..I will tell my reply within a week.."

Train started...I felt bit uncomfortable for proposing at that moment..I messaged her.."hey Gayu,sorry dear..I knew this will disturb ur peace of mind during these holidays..but I couldn't hide this anymore..have a happy vacation and come with a positive reply.."

I didn't get any reply msg from her..I proposed her boldly,but I was all tensed and was expecting her every moment..Finally she came back..

Vinod : "how was your vaction dear?"

Gayu(little differently): "hmm..ya it was gr8..Vinod,I want to say something important to u..even I can't hide this anymore.."

I could read the confusion in her mind..

Gayu:"This is my marriage invitation...Within a month marriage and after marriage I will be moving to New York..I also submitted my resignation 2 days ago.."

I was stunned...I was speechless...WTF :x...like a normal Tamil movie,an American groom is spoiling my life..

I tried to convince her a lot..

Vinod : "How can this happen?within a week,how can they fix marriage?"

Gayu : "No Vinod,talks were going on for the past few months..I thought of telling this to u after everything is finalized..To my surprise,my parents and my would-be and his parents have finalized everything so soon.."

Vinod : "Oh it means u were already committed right?"

Gayu : "not exactly..but I told my parents that I will give my opinion after a deep thought..but everything happened like a flash in a pan.."

Vinod :"hey whats this..u r not clear Gayu..jus don't go by ur parents wish for everything..its ur life..u have to decide..hey u were so close to me..u hugged me..u came in bike with me..we have chatted in phone even as late at 2 o clock,3 o clock.."

Gayu : "Vinod..r u insane?all these things doesn't necessarily mean love..hugging,chatting and roaming in bike etc are quite common in my locality..being in a city like Chennai,how can u be so naive da?

hmm.. alright..u don't have the maturity to take up these things..agreed its my mistake,I shouldn't have been too close to u..I thought u r also a broad-minded guy..but my understanding was wrong..I could have very well told all these things to u,in station itself..I could have easily responded to ur sms by sending these things as a reply..but,I just didn't want to spoil ur mood..

I sensed how excited u were..I thought my immediate response might completely break u down..thats y I asked little time..

All said and done,I will be marrying Mr.Krishna Reddy on the said date..cordially try to come to my marriage..

Vinod : "Hey Gayu listen.."

Gayu : "No more arguments Vino..even now I do admit the fact that,I like u soooooo much,but that doesn't mean that I love u..get the basic difference between 'love' and 'like'..its over..

One more thing,marriage is in Chennai only da..he is working in Chennai only right now..so u need not even toil much to attend my marriage.."

Couldn't convince her any more.. Even a day before the marriage,I called her up and tried to convince her..She was in no mood to listen my cry or pain and she gave back nicely..her every word was like a slap on my face..

I didn't attend her marriage..I knew I can't see that..I have started living with her virtually..so I knew it was not at possible for me to see her marriage..

Finally,now,am in my home..Though I was crazily in love with Gayu,I never compromised on my ambition..I worked hard..With immense hard work and intelligence,I cleared the preliminary examination..The results ARE out..I have cleared with good marks..I have to attend the Civil Services Main examination..

I want to show Gayu that,she missed a real hero in her life..I wanted to prove myself better than the dumb American guy..Am damn sure,if I attend this I will clear..I will be the real hero..

The admit card and the call letter is right in front of me..but......

I can't attend this exam anymore..because...

I am no more...

Yes,I never wanted to attend Gayu's marriage.. I wanted to teach her a lesson..I thought,my death will prove my true love..I wanted her to cry for me lifelong..I committed suicide..But what has happened is something different..

When her friends informed her about my death..She was shocked a little..But that didn't stop her from flying to New York..She happily married the guy..She told these words to her friends:

"that fellow is a dumbo..he is a dumb guy..useless idiot..he don't know the value of human life..immature idiot.. he don't even know to think practically..for such a hopeless guy,why should I sacrifice my life?moreover I can't even waste a single second for such a worthless soul..If my marriage stops at this stage,what will happen to my parents?I have a younger sister,what about her future?will any other guy marry her?will these dumb guys not say that,she is unlucky girl,she too will be like her sister only etc..

for me,my life,my parents and my sister is more important than this brainless chap..all i can do for him is, feel pity for him..jus convey my deepest condolences to his family.."

These words will make anyone think..Of-course,she was just too close with me,that she simply can't dilute it citing city culture as a reason..But,this is not the way to make her realize this..I understood everything..I understood my mistake..I want to live,but its just too late..

She cares a lot for her family..She is clear in her thoughts..but I didn't care for my family..I forgot all my friends,I didn't even bother to call my best friend Ravi,who mortgaged his ring to pay my exam fees once..I didn't even spare a second to think of my father,who has honestly spent all his life in govt service to bring us up..I failed to spare a second for my brother..He was the one who encouraged me every day,that I can surely become an IAS..How big sinner am I?I didn't even think of my sweet mom..Even today I love sleeping on her lap,I love the food cooked by her..

Even God will not forgive morons like me,who forget so many good people for the sake of a girl or a guy,who's part is little in his/her life..

Yes,it's not her mistake..It's my mistake..I shouldn't have done this..I hope,atleast  people who read my story, doesn't repeat this mistake..

P.S : Copyrights of this story belongs to me..